Hello there! Nice of you to join us today. I’m sure you’re wondering all about Best Kept Secret 2016: what the upcoming edition has in store, whether it’s worth attending, and which artists you should be checking out if and/or when you’re there. So why this rather elaborate (and now really quite long) introduction before getting to the good stuff? Well I’ll tell you:
We at the Bristol Beats Club bloody love a festival. We’ve attended them all over the world. There’s something about the combination of sun, good music and scantily clad and heavily inebriated liberals that we simply can’t resist – especially as, often when we’re in attendance, we tend to unintentionally become heavily inebriated ourselves.
But this year, things are different. At least one of us here at Beats Club HQ has already faced matrimonial pressures from family elders. Twice. Another is considering emigrating to Texas (and, let us be clear: the two are unrelated).
Indeed, as both our rapidly disappearing hairlines and the above paragraph indicate, and as a drunk 14 year old rather offensively pointed out at a Reading festival a couple of seasons ago, we’re not getting any younger. We’re growing up. And that means festivals these days are taking a bit of a backseat.
Except, of course, for Best Kept Secret.
Because – and take note of this – Best Kept Secret really is no ordinary festival. At most festivals, you get mud.
But, thanks to a sandy, lakeside location, not with Best Kept Secret.
At most festivals, you get Taylor Swift.
But, again, not with Best Kept Secret.
And at most festivals, you get fun-loving festival goers skinny dipping at 3 in the afternoon to a soundtrack of indie or electro from a nearby bangin live artist.
Sorry – at one. And that’s at Best Kept Secret.